‘What started out as Twilight fan fiction has become a national phenomenon. 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James, which tells the racy S&M love story of college grad Anastasia Steele and businessman Christian Grey, has hit No. 1 on the New York Timesbestsellers list and is being buzzed about across the country for its steamy depictions of sex and bondage. Its popularity among married women has led to the term “mommy porn” to describe it. It’s also in the spotlight for being completely ridiculous; actors and TV shows have taken a crack at its over-the-top style, with readings by everyone fromKristen Stewart to Gilbert Gottfried and a brilliant SNL skit. If you want to get in on the mocking action without actually having to read the book (or if you want to pretend to make fun of it while actually enjoying every word), check out these hilarious excerpts. Be prepared to cringe, blush, and laugh out loud’. http://www.onlineclasses.org/2012/05/24/7-hilarious-excerpt-from-50-shades-of-grey-you-have-to-read-to-believe/

Exerpts

I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.

Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness — from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it such a versatile liquid.

“I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.”

And this ….. ?????

His breathing is ragged, matching mine.
“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.
“Err… yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.
“Good.” He releases me and turns me around.
“Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.
He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.
Whoa… and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer.
“Oh, Ana!” His breathing is ragged in my ear, in perfect synergy with mine. “Oh, baby, will I ever get enough of you?” he whispers.
Will it always be like this? So overwhelming, so all-consuming, so bewildering and beguiling. I wanted to talk, but now I’m […]

Think we know the answer to that girls